Candy We Don't Want to Find Easter Morning

Excerpt from here.

All photos by Laine Doss

Run, bunny, run!

​We're not sure exactly when Easter became the day to chomp the heads off innocent chocolate creatures of the forest, but that's what this holiday has evolved into. A recent trip to a megastore's candy aisle yielded a host of cringe-inducing products. Another Easter tradition is to hunt for treats, so let's hope we forget our contact lenses the big day. 


Get it? They're not Easter bunnies -- they're Reester Bunnies! Ha, ha! Isn't that funny? That's what we call a "play on words" in marketing terms. I'm sorry... Did you say I was fired?


Do I look like Peter F**ckin' Rabbit to you, motherf**ker?


Ummm, rainbow-flavored grass. Stoner food disguised as kiddie treats.


Nothing says "yummy" more than farm animals crapping for your eating enjoyment.


Pssst. Hey, Timmy. So Mommy and Daddy are getting a divorce. Buck up and eat your Easter candy, you whiner!


The perfect bunny for little bullies. Even easier than pulling the wings off flies.